Foolish Generosity

Proper use of money has been on the mind a lot.
Mom loves me so she made and mailed cookies.  Don't get me wrong.  The cookies were great, but... shipping cost $8.75.  That could have paid for two more batches of cookies.  To be more efficient with her giving she could just Paypal me all that money and email me the recipe, then I could make them myself and have 3 times as much cookie love right?!
I think we all know that would kind of defeat the point.  She didn't send those cookies in order for me to experience the maximum amount of delicious cookie possible (oatmeal cookies with white chocolate chips!).  She sent them because she loves me and wanted me to feel her love despite being so far away.  And yes, it worked.  I felt quite loved when I came home and found them on my doorstep :) :) :D
Shipping cookies almost 600 miles is a mildly extravagant way to communicate love.  It's the extravagance that carries the important part.  When God works in us and through us, he wants to communicate his love to us, and he also wants to communicate his love through us to others.  In both cases he likes to do so extravagantly.  It's not always the most financially efficient or "responsible" way, but God has no shortage of resources so that's not something he has to concern himself with.
When we feed the poor, we could do so by buying bread and peanut butter in bulk, whipping up a bunch of sandwiches and then handing them out.  Alternatively we could take a homeless man out to eat.  Both approaches get the job done.  One approach is financially responsible, while the other is not.  One approach (the financially irresponsible one if it wasn't clear), shows extravagant love, while the other does not.  Of course with the sandwiches you could impact more lives with the same amount of money, but at the same time, remember God has money, and when you follow his direction to take a homeless man out to eat, God will bless that and provide the means to make it happen again.
Maybe this addresses the concern of my previous post.  Spend our money extravagantly on the pleasure of serving God, and because it is not a zero sum game, God can multiply our efforts and allow large impact.
hmm.. sorry, mind is spinning wildly so forgive the chaos.  Maybe it's like this:

$10 feeds 2 people normally, or 1 person + extravagant love.  I have $10 so the choice is between impacting 1 person or 2.
Wrong.
Because maybe, when I choose the 1, God redirects $50 my way so that I can actually impact 6 people extravagantly.

Sooo... I think the trick is being aware that this can happen.  God likes operating like this. Most importantly though, just obey.  Don't question God when he defies common sense and says to just impact the 1 because you never know what he has up his sleeve.

Regret

Matthew 6:19-21
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Heaven is this earth in the future, when God returns and redeems this earth bringing it back to the way things were at the garden of Eden before the fall of humanity (not some place up in the clouds where we play harps, or even just a big worship service).  The idea of "being too heavenly focused to be any earthly good" is an idea that doesn't understand heaven and hasn't looked at the lives of history's most heavenly focused people.  If life in heaven is basically life in a redeemed earth, then many of the things we enjoy here and now we can enjoy there.  We don't need to waste our time getting as much pleasure today as we can.  There will be time for that in eternity.  Instead, seeing heaven ahead of us, we spend our time here doing the things we can't do in heaven; we rescue the world from sin, hopelessness, and brokenness.  Spending our time amassing wealth does us no good.  We leave it all behind.  Redeemed lives though come into the new heaven and new earth with us.  The stories of people who had clean water to drink because of our obedience to God will come to heaven with us.

In light of that, as our lives come towards their ends and we transition into eternity, will we regret the time wasted now on the eternally insignificant? (which things count as eternally significant would be another entire series of blog posts which I won't discuss right now).  This clip from the end of Schindler's List portrays the regret of a man who did so much but could have done more.  I don't know if he is right in reacting the way he does or not.  He seems to ignore the joy he could have from saving hundreds of people, to focus on the 12 he lost, but actually that sounds a lot like the good shepherd leaving his 99 sheep, to search out the one who was lost.

I don't believe God's goal is for us to live our lives in misery, but I also can't imagine him being thrilled when we let the lives of others slip by as insignificant in comparison to the pleasures we want to have fulfilled now.  I want to be able to justify spending money on me for things I like, but I'm struggling to put together any real argument that doesn't sound contrived, and just like an excuse to let me do what I want to do...  I could have sponsored a child for a month with the $19 I spent at lunch today.  There was value to my lunch with friends, but does it outweigh the alternative use of the money?  I am struggling to beat this question.

Stepping into Inequality

I grew up in a private Christian school.  I knew there were richer families and poorer families, but everyone there had the money to send their kids to a private school.
I grew up in the suburbs.  In the suburbs there is poverty but it's invisible.
I went to Argentina, and I suppose everyone was poor, so you didn't really notice that anyone was.
I went to university.  College students spend money like they're rich.  They tend to spend based on the lifestyle they expect to have when they graduate and are making lots of money (they hope).
Then I graduated, along with all my peers, and we walked into cities where the rich and the poor stand side by side.  They sit across from each other in the park, and bump into each other on the train.
It's strange.  The poor aren't invisible.  They're very close.

I found myself wishing I had a bike.  At first I just wanted to get around fast.  I don't like to wait, or walk.  Later I wanted it because people don't ask you for 50¢ when you're on a bike.

It's strange.  I suppose I won't be able to ignore them anymore.

Well, I could probably get over it if I tried, but I don't think God wants me to "get over it."

Radical. again.

Here's another 2 days of sun. I may have lost my camera and spent the sunset searching for it in the second one and missed the sun itself, but it's summer so the sun always comes back. This afternoon I got to spend time with a friend from YWAM (Youth With A Mission). I was reminded of what is so terrific about this group of people that have been a part of my life off and on for many years now. The excitement to take risks for God, and the complete willingness to step, even when terrified of where you'll land, marks these people. They have exactly the same education, background, fears, dreams as I do, only they are willing to step anywhere. It was just another reminder of what God has for us. I'm not allowed to just live a normal American life. That is not actually even a legitimate option. There is nothing that is too crazy to do. I could make a list of options:

- Provide clean water to the whole country of Liberia.

- Make homes for thousands of families.

- Lead the top 12 CEO's in the world to christ.

- Get PUMA to follow the example of TOMS and give away a shoe for every shoe sold.

- Lead an entire University to the Lord.

- Remove poverty from a major city.

- Invest a million dollars in missions.

It's not a matter of, "Am I qualified to do any of that? Which is small enough for me to do?" It's instead, "God, which of these should I do? If you don't tell me than I'll just do all of them!" Because God likes us, each of us is completely capable of doing something that will literally change the world.

Dream

Pray

Walk

Radical.

"A wealthier man in our church family came to my office after we had been studying the story of the rich young man. He sat down, looked at me, and said point-blank, 'I think you're crazy for saying some of the things you are saying.' Then he paused, and I wasn't sure what direction this conversation was going to go. He continued, 'But I think you're right. And so now I think I'm crazy for thinking some of the things I'm thinking.'

For the next few minuets, he described how he was selling his large house and had decided to give away many of his other possessions. He talked about the needs he wanted to invest his resources in for the glory of Christ. Then he looked at me through tears in his eyes and said, 'I wonder at some points if I'm being irresponsible of unwise. But then I realize there is never going to come a day when I stand before God and he looks at me and says, 'I wish you would have kept more for yourself.' I'm confident that God will take care of me.'"

- David Platt in Radical p. 123

"So what is the difference between someone who willfully indulges in sexual pleasures while ignoring the Bible on moral purity, and someone who willfully indulges in the selfish pursuit of more and more material possessions while ignoring the Bible on caring for the poor? The difference is that one involves a social taboo in the church and the other involves the social norm in the church."

- David Platt in Radical p. 111

Above are two quotes from a book called Radical, which talks all about taking back faith from the American dream, that my dad is going through with his small group. I read the finances chapter. There are a handful of puzzle pieces related to where my life is going that are all starting to come together. This is a start.