Wednesday, September 25, 2013

The Comparison Game: Facebook

I visited Reunion Church a couple Sundays back.  It was the first church I visited in Boston.  The pastor was sharing about how envy can rob our joy (think older brother of the prodigal son).  We compare ourselves to others, and decide we want what they have.  Facebook plays a role in this because we post the top 1% of the great things that happen to us.  Relationships, new job, pictures of that awesome vacation, from your top 500 friends all in one newsfeed is bound to make you feel like you don't measure up.

My first thought was that we should counter that by posted all sorts of different things, not just the "good" things.  Then I realized, some people already do that, and I find those posts annoying.  There's something about sharing things that are going wrong just out into the open that makes me uncomfortable.  I don't mean me doing it makes me uncomfortable, I mean when other people do.  I then realized it's because it breaks the rule of our culture.  "How are you doing?" "Fine." or "Great!"
It seems so superficial, because so often it is, but I'm not quite sure the alternative.  I feel like we need a small core group of friends who we share the hurts and pains with, and for everyone else, we just practically don't have time to unload everything that is wrong all the time.  We interact with so many different people each day, and with facebook that number gets scary high.  So you just have a filtered down version of yourself.  The elevator speech that tells everyone everything they need to know about you in 30 seconds.  You only have time to show good things, so it's settled.

Just remember when you look at facebook, it's not the full story (privacy still exists kind of).  Their life has good things, and so does yours.  Theirs has bad things, but they're just not sharing it to the whole world.

Don't compare, just pick a few things going well in your life and enjoy them.

Boston Drivers (beep! beep!)

I've been commuting to work every day by bike so I've seen lots of Boston drivers up close and personal in my month in Boston so far.  At first I just thought they were mean, but now I'm starting to understand their system.

There are two kinds of honk and they go as follows.

Mean Honk:
Beeeeeeeep!  You @$$hole!!!

Nice Honk:
Beep. Beep.

If know swearing is audible after the honk, I assume they have the best of intentions.

So here's the cool system.  You know how obnoxious it is to sit at a light and have to constantly stare at it so you know when it turns?  Well in Boston, there is one person on alert who honks their horn politely the instant the light turns so that all the other drivers know to go even if they weren't looking.  At first I thought the person doing that was just really impatient, but now I consider them considerate for watching out for everyone.  I think sometimes it's maybe even the person at the front who beeps to make sure everyone behind them knows to go. Maybe...

That's my optimistic theory anyway.  Who knows.